Signed, Sealed, and Delivered…

March 28, 2009

My neighbor, Johnnie (Big Mama) called me on Friday and asked if I could take her to the post office to “pick up her brother.”   I was slightly confused and asked if she meant a package for her brother and she said, “yea, I need to pick up a package.”  So, off we went in the rain to the post office.   On our way, she started telling me that she was so mad her brother had died and that no one in her family wanted him.  I asked her if it was the brother I had met, and she said that it was and that he had died and was being shipped to her.  Finally, I got it.  We were actually going to PICK UP HER BROTHER AT THE POST OFFICE!!!!

At this point, I was kinda excited about the whole trip - because I had been terribly annoyed to go out in the rain to pick up a package.   But alas, no more!  This was an adventure- something I had never done before - pick up a cremated body at the post office.

We got to the post office down the street and I told her I would go in so she would not have to get wet…secretly I wanted to be the one to pick the package up though!  I walked to the window and told the lady at the counter that I had a package to pick up and whispered, “and it’s a person!”  She said, “Girl we get that all the time and sometimes the boxes are all ornate.”  I really really really wanted an ornate box, but when she brought it back, it was only a cardboard box.  I did all the signing and brought it back to Johnnie in the car…and proceeded to take a picture of the box on her lap.

I would have felt I was being disrespectful, but Big Mama did not want her brother in the first place.  ” I can’t believe it is not heavier,” I said, and Johnnie quipped back, “They burned all the fat off of him.”  I asked her what she was going to do with him, and she said, “I am going to put him in the attic.”

The End.

Posted in What the *^#@?, Yadda Yadda, Who knows what catagory this may be by ashley